Thursday, October 24, 2013

Motherhood & Discipline

At Bible Study last night we had a guest speaker and she covered the following topic - God’s Vision for Motherhood: Discipline and Heart Transformation.  This was such a great discussion and I needed to hear it.  I grew up in a very strict home and was disciplined often.  I grew afraid of my mom very early on and it shaped my adolescence.  I became a liar at a very young age because I was so afraid of “getting in trouble”.  My mom’s discipline was harsh (in my opinion).  It involved yelling, spankings, getting grounded for weeks…I even remember it getting so bad that at 10 years old I wanted to run away.  I made it to the end of our neighborhood and the whole time I was wishing my mom would chase after me, hug me, and tell me that she was sorry for being so hard on me.  She chased after me alright, and when she caught up to me, I was in much deeper trouble than before. It was a lose-lose situation.  To this day my mom and I have an estranged relationship.

I’ve always told myself that I’m going to do things differently when I have kids.  I want them to love me, respect me, and feel comfortable coming to me for anything.  With my son turning 2 a few months ago, we’ve reached the stage of needing to enforce discipline and I want to do it through my heart and as a Godly mom.

Train-up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. NKJV Proverbs 22:6

I’d like to share a few key points that I learned from the class…
- What is discipline?  It’s an opportunity to instruct my children and point them to Christ.  It’s not about me, my agenda, my feelings, my desires, or my reputation.  It’s about God’s glory and the eternal destination of my children’s soul.  When my children disobey me, they are running from Christ and rebelling against Him; therefore, the greatest danger for my children when they misbehave is not my anger or displeasure, but it’s losing their soul.

- Discipline is my opportunity to evangelize my children and explain the Gospel.

- Like Oil is to Water… Anger is to Discipline (they don’t mix)

- Parents must be Tender… Children must be Obedient

- Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger do not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  ~James 1:19-20

- Children learn our ways. If we are angry, they will be angry.

- Discipline and correction should be delivered in the following ways:  be their teacher, be humble and have gentle at heart, be compassionate, loving, tenderhearted, and courteous.

- Treat your children as you wish to have been treated as a child (this one really hits home with me).

- Build my children with Godly characters so that they have less bad behaviors.

How can I achieve good behavior?
- Pray for my children to be teachable and tender-hearted towards God, His Word, and me.  Ask the Holy Spirit to produce true repentance and a desire for holiness in my children’s heart.

- Saturate my children with the Word of God.

- Teach my children character traits and their opposites (liar vs. truthful, anger vs. self-control)

Here are some books that I plan to invest in:
- Character: Crossroads of Character: Learning to Make Wise Choices by Kate Boyer Brown and Marilyn Boyer (This book I actually won out of the drawing during class last night)

- Prayer: The Power of a Praying Parent by Omartian

- Manners: Manners Made Easy for the Family by Hines Moore

- Toddler Discipline: 8 Tools for Toddler Discipline by Dr. Sears

My personal goals as a Godly mom are to:
- Be a 1 Corinthians Mom

- Teach through the heart

- If my discipline is ever too harsh, that I will ask my children for forgiveness